Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
Olive Garden says “When you’re here you’re family”, how could they expect me NOT to think I’m entitled to a free meal.
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
As long as there is an open textbook in front of you, nobody will question what you are doing on your laptop.
The ski racks on my car say I’m fun, adventurous, and can’t figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
I would’ve slept my way to the top years ago if it actually involved sleeping.
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
Don`t wait until you`re on your deathbed to tell people how you really feel because you could be too weak to raise your middle finger.
I’ve thought about it, and there still is no good reason for me to grow up.
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"