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Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
I believe in love at first episode.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn’t talking about sneezing.
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
"You suck! No, you suck!!" - Two women in a threesome
I carry a knife, but it`s just in case of cake.
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.
Oh... the look on the Home Depot associate`s face when I asked him if the pruning shears will cut through bone... priceless.