Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the pesky word "premeditated " gets thrown around in court.
If I was a waiter.. I would plant fake engagement rings in every girl`s champagne glass, just to see their boyfriends panic.
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, Netflix
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.