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I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
If they put beer in CapriSun pouches I could fit a lot more in my cooler. Just thought I`d throw that out there, people who invent sh!t.
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
If your significant other is mad at you, put a cape on them and say "Now you`re super mad!" If they laugh marry them.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
"Oh wow, it`s a fruit cake! I`m going to eat some of it right now" ...said no one ever.
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
You can´t trust dogs to watch your food.
My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn`t be allowed to talk
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know I’m delicious but damn.
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.
I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly.
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.