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Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
Note to self: When sending Valentines messages don`t use group text next year.
Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?
Who knew rock bottom was so crowded?
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
If any of you ever want your kitchen painted orange just give a six year old Cheetos for lunch and tell them not to make a mess. Works every time.
After a while you just get used to people not understanding.
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
bras are booby-traps
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
Neighbor said hi again. I`m just gonna move
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
All through school I assumed they saved the number 1 pencils for the smart kids
So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...