Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
The ceiling fan DOES NOT make a good lettuce shredder....
All the coffee beans in South America can`t make me a morning person.
Guys, how many times have you said "it looks great honey" when you really are just laughing inside?
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
I named my dog "5 Miles" so I can tell people, "I walk 5 Miles every day"
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn`t for throwing at people who stress you out?
My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, "damn doc I`m already up to 3 times a day"
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
"Oh my god, you`ve gotten so fat! Want me to make you something to eat?" - my mom
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?