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I was laying down, looking up at the stars while I was writing this post. Then it dawned on me; `Where the heck is the ceiling?`
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Its more like a jar of jalapeños, what you do today can burn your a$$ tomorrow
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
"I like your tree`s earring." ... "That`s a tire swing."
Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
People are so ungrateful. No one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.
Did the Energizer Bunny finally stop going and going, and none of us even noticed it?
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.