Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
One good thing about being ugly is that when someone stares at you for too long you automatically know they wanna rob you.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
She might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty`s only a light switch away.
Don`t forget, If anyone asks we are a normal family.
If you win a years supply of calendars, you would only win 1 calendar.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn`t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
First thing I do in the morning: Look at the clock and hope I have more time to sleep.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
The girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat.
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders.
I don’t need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes.
I saw a comedian one time who did nothing but make geography puns. talk abbottabad act.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.