Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.
I`m an organ donor, but I`m pretty sure all they`re going to use my liver for is "after" photos.
If I had the money I`d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
"I`m $50 away from getting free shipping which is only $5 and what I want is $12 so I need to spend $38 more to save money." -my brain
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
The trouble with bucket seats is that, not everybody has the same size bucket.
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine.
Congratulations on becoming a homeowner! From now on, every noise you hear will cost you money.
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.