Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why don’t television shows say, “You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?”
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
If I`m in your house and you have bookshelves... Be prepared to see me turning statues and bending down books while looking for your lair.
It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
Of course you should follow me. I’m funny. Ask anyone. Well, except my mother-in-law. Don`t ask her.
Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)
I thought "twerking" was short for "networking". I really embarrassed myself while giving that presentation to the company`s Board of Directors.
Tieam... problem solved
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.