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"Check, please!" - Me, at a restaurant begging the waiter to make sure there are no monsters under the table
My TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
Unsettling sounds #23 - Ice-cream van after dark
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don´t make eye contact while eating a banana.
Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can`t do is pick up it`s own poop. You`re just a poop collector.
Never underestimate a woman’s ability to make anything your fault.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.
Trying to be less negative but it`ll never work.
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.