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If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
Most problems can be solved with nudity
Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn`t quite finished...
Who the hell is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
Still no news on the royal baby. One will assume its being delivered by Royal Mail
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
My 12 step program means parking closer to the bar.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…