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Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
Always keep a note in your medicine cabinet that says, “I thought you were peeing?”
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
What idiot decided it should be my foot`s asleep instead of coma toes?
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you`re talking about BABIES?
There are two types of people in this world: those who know how to handle stress, and those who need bail money.
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds.