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My girlfriend said that I should use the term `make love` instead of `f*ck.` What the make love is she talking about?
You poor thing. You don`t even realize you`re batsh!t crazy, do you?
All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
You know whatβs huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
Most days the best thing about my job is that my chair spins
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
Donβt believe everything you think.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I`m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
I`m feeling 22.. Pounds overweight.
Fun Fact: Over 97.8% of men have already made mistakes this year that a woman will remind him about for the rest of his days.
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.