Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Kinda bummed that every Christmas for the last 12 years, I`ve been way too drunk to remember all the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, I leaned my lesson. It`s time to get my act together for the family. This Christmas, I`m hiring a cameraman.
I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It`s their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea… I just suck at fishing.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
when in Rome get naked ;)
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them