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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
It`s so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way up!
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so fvck it!
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
If I have to stir it, itβs homemade.
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
Marriage counseling - because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they are being an a$$
The toughest part of a diet isnβt watching what you eatβ¦Itβs watching what other people eat.
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
What are the words I`m looking for? Oh yeah...Eat sh!t and die.
If I was rich, IΒ΄d do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.