Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That moment when you realize your children have your twisted sense of humor...And you don`t know whether to be proud or scared.
Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
Me: Where can I find the milk? Her: Sir, this is a library. Me: *whispers* Sorry, where can I find the milk?
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said "too ugly to prostitute."
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.