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Some call it alcoholism, I call it "keeping my emotions hydrated"
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
An awkward morning beats a boring night.
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
One thing I`ve learned about women is they prefer that I don`t speak
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
I would be okay with a ghost in the house if it at least moved a vacuum around the floors once a week.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.