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Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re stupid and make bad decisions.
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets
I may be asking too much of this coffee.
Facebook really needs a “pee on someone’s wall” option.
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)