Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.
Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos.
Having children is a fantastic source of free labor.
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
I`m fortunate that anger and nicotine have zero calories.
Iām pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
No great story started with someone drinking water.
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
SNAUGHLING: Laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.