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If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
When I die I want my body donated to science; specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
Wife says to her husband, "You wanna change positions tonight?" He says, "Yeah!" she says, "OK, you do the dishes and I will sit on the couch and fart."
I`ve given up on giving up.
I’m totally fine with favoritism as long as I’m the favorite.
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)