Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
"Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree.
I`m in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.
ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.