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How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
Goodnight, good people - and nite nite to the naughty ones too!
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
My boss was all, "Do you know why I called you to the office, " and I was like, "I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven`t had any yet.
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)