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Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
"5 React 2 Gum-- Experiences may vary. Stimulate your senses!"-- Same effect as LSD, but chewier.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
The best stories ever told always end with the words”…and then I got the hell out of there.”
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
I`ve decided to add more positivity in my life. So, now when I say someone`s an a@#hole, I qualify it with......... but he`s really good at it...........and I`m positive about that!
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
I ate the whole box of Slim Fast bars. So excited about how skinny I`ll be when I wake up tomorrow.