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The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
You should have been a chicken and just went home.
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
Can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
IRS: We`ve got what it takes to take what you`ve got.
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?