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If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
I think it`s about time Taylor Swift wrote a song called "Maybe I`m the Problem"
My thoughts should be ashamed of themselves.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it`s AM. Google thinks I`ve got my life together.
Me: Mom...Dad. I`ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
"Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not JUST an effective fire safety technique, but also a very memorable way of getting out of a boring conversation. :P
I will literally spend $20 on food but won’t buy a $20 shirt.