Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
If you`re in a hole, stop digging...
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Laptop speakers, too quiet for music, too loud for porn.
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Yeah, I was drowning you in a lake.
I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else`s