Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If zombies ever do attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership.
This post is just for you.
I can come up with plenty of ways to do nothing.
If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
Monday :`( Tuesday :-( Wednesday :- Thursday :-/ Friday :-| Saturday :-) Sunday B-)
Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!……It’ll take them an hour to pass the salt!
I hate when I accidentally eat everything in sight.
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
is procastinating now. Don´t see why I should put it off.
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
I`m great at balloon animals. You should see my eel, snake, and worm.