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The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
My advice for pretty much anything that`s broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
Every now and then when I`m in a room alone I say out loud, "I know you`re listening". If I`m wrong, nobody knows. If I`m right, I just freaked the hell out of some guy.
My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
Saying, "We need to talk," is the most efficient way to freak someone out
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
"I’m not drunk!” is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
Sometimes I like to take a roll of duct tape and use it to cover up all the Mondays on my desk calendar.
Thanks to the popularity of gifs, we are living in the golden age of silent films.
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.
If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?