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Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
Of course I’ll buy a polished rock made into a necklace. I’m on vacation, aren’t I?
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend.
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
I stick pins and needles in the people I don`t like because can`t afford voodoo dolls.
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly...."You can see me???"
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
If my girl didn`t want me to wear her new Christmas thong, she shouldn`t have said she bought it "for me." Women are confusing.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips.
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener