Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
I got in an elevator with a lady with big breasts. She said could you press one for me please. I did and that was the last thing I remember
Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking "Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
It`s the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
If Olympic drinking was an event I would probably take gold in the floor routine.
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word" is super-romantic. But the cops didn`t think so.
I`m so in Debt, I could start a Government.
“That’s funny” is something I say when I can’t even fake a laugh.