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This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
The police never think its as funny as I do.
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
It really freaks me out that I have a skeleton living inside me......
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
I look at you and think "why has no-one hit you with a shovel yet?"
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs… because they always take things literally