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Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
...and this right here son is called pornography, and it`s why they invented the internet.
The first rule of selfie club should be to clean your room.
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
Yes I`m still bitter about my name not being mentioned in "Mambo No. 5"
Thank you Super Bowl for reminding all Americans how bad we really are at understanding Roman numerals
I just read that burglars use Facebook to see when people aren’t home. So from now on, I’m at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile.
I saw a sign at a cafe that said, "shoes must be worn." I was upset, because my shoes were brand new.
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
Your things are terrific.
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.