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My minivan is always rocking, but it`s usually because I`m trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting "UNSUBSCRIBE!"
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
i only drink on days that end with y
All I`m saying is that Schwarzenegger isn`t the only one who woke up naked next to a dumpster in 1984.
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
Youth is wasted on the young.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.