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When you`re trying to change the channel on the tv, and the remote starts ringing, you`re probably drunk.
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it’s either her or Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last joke….. in which I talk about having a wife.
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
Just googled "who gives a sh!t?" My name wasn`t in the search results.
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He`s going to pay for that later.
Being skinny might be nice, but having pizza is nicer.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
You know what I hate? People who answer their own questions.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.