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I always get naked before I get in bed so I don`t know why this lady at Sears is giving me a dirty look in the mattress section.
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
“Knock him out.” – Mama
My friends are the kind that would flirt with the fireman while my house was burning down.
We all have that friend who acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
Don`t hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.