Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
Nothing says you`re ugly like Facebook asking, "are you sure you want to make this your profile picture ?"
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
Wait, carjacking doesn`t mean masturbating in my vehicle? Then no, I didn`t get arrested for carjacking.
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn´t make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.