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I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
I bought some shoes of a drug dealer, I don`t know what he laced them with but I`ve been tripping all day.
With everything going on lately... I`ve got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
Don`t believe everything you think.
Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
I’m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
Been there, done that. allegedly
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!! (To all of my FB friends, please don`t read this until the appropriate day)
If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny sh!t.
I do everything faster when I have to pee.
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.