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As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
Are you guys sure common sense can`t be beaten into people ? Because I`d like to give it try!
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.
Thought for the day : Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
I live in a madhouse, ruled by a tiny army, that I made myself
Imagine how out of control drinking would if we didn`t have hangovers
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!