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I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
Is it true that the older you get the crazier you become? Or is that just me?
Movies are so unrealistic. This guy`s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
So far I`m 0 for 276 for walking around the block in hopes of finding a bag of money on the side of the road.
I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I wake up feeling like a bounced check.
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
Whats the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
If we`re all expected to have sex with our Valentine on Valentine`s Day, I`m truly dreading Presidents` Day.
Someone invited me to their dog`s birthday party on Saturday. What a freak! I am NOT coming to your dog`s birthday party! Besides, my cat is getting married that weekend!
Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push ... into traffic.
is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC