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I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
I know you think youΒ΄re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
I don`t care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.
You don`t need training to be a street cleaner, you just pick it up as you go along.
I put the b!tch in the kitchen.~ last thing I remember saying before I woke up in the hospital.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
Every wanna answer every question with a middle finger? That`s kinda where I am today.