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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
Nothing says “I don’t give a sh!t” like a Hawaiian shirt.
Whoever invented self checkout greatly overestimated the general intelligence of the human race.
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
I need a partner in wine.
Is Nudeism a religion?
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
I’m planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not.
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal