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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
Stop screaming, lady. All I said was `this is how pornos start`. It`s just elevator talk.
I like it like that
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
This haunted house sucks. It`s just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, I`m at work, sorry.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?