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My nose is "running", that`s all the exercise I can handle for one day.......
Such a relief when things I`ve been meaning to do become things I meant to do but now it`s too late.
Wives are just security guards hellbent on denying you access to your happiness, and porn collection.
Marriage is like friends without benefits.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
The Ex is bringing my kids back home. Time to strategically place the panties I bought from Victoria`s secret around the house.
What an intoxicated Schwarzenegger might say to a police officer: "I`m an IDIOT you COP!"
Fun Fact about me: The drunker I get, the more karate I know.
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.