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Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
The general rule is that you shouldn`t ride an elevator during a fire, but I mean, talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
“I don’t watch TV” proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.