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There`s no easy way to steal a watermelon.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus.
Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.
I`m not always rude. Sometimes I`m sleeping.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn`t think so.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
Stop saying I`m hard to shop for. Surely you know where the liquor store is
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up and play dead and they usually leave you alone.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg ;)
sleep is for people without netflix
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.