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I swear I just go to the strip club for the music.
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
Who knew adulthood would involve so much Advil?
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
We all have that friend who acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes.
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
People who say, “Happy New Year” to you on the 4th of January are not really your friends.
If I could keep it short, my life would be so much simpler.
Here hold my dignity, I`ve got some sketchy shit to do.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"
sleep is for people without netflix
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
I never think twice about helping others.In fact, I never think once about it.
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?