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There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are suppose to be doing something else.
That awkward moment when your screen freezes on a really embarrassing website
Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute? Just ask your girlfriend if she`s gained weight.
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
If you need me I`ll always be stuck behind the person who doesn`t know how to use the CVS self-checkout aisle.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice!
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
I`ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. Feefiphobia.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.
1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don`t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.