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There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
I´m the kind of person that when my feet hit the ground each morning the devil says, "OH CRAP, HE´S UP"!
If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
So, when people say "LOLZ", does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.
I love watching The Simpsons. They never get old.
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks