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Behind every strong woman is a man that she needs to open jars and get things off high shelves.
Haters gonna hate, your honor
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
You know its bad when you feel like your life is being directed by Quentin Tarantino.
Iām exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
When I go through an automated car wash I close my eyes, because it`s easier to pretend I`m in a car that way.
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
A blind man walks into a bar....and a stool....and a table....
My sex life is just like my typing skills. One handed.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: