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Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
I`m just a boy, standing in front of a girl; not listening to a f*cking thing she`s saying. But nodding, lots of nodding.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
Dearest Neighbors, Please do not call the police, it`s not domestic violence or a wild party. It`s football season, that`s just me screaming at my TV.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated…but can’t pronounce it.
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call.
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."