Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
Watching someone else play a video game is like watching someone who won`t let you join in while they`re masturbating.
I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
Sit-ups are my favorite form of exercise because I get to lay down every few seconds.
You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
My GPS is basically just one more woman in my life who I turn on and then ignore.
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
What`s the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
Sorry I can`t go out tonight, I can`t find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a lost guy with a flashlight.
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
People who learned a bunch of stuff must have felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.