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I`m still mad that video killed the radio star.
I don’t go to bars for the same reason I don’t grocery shop when I’m hungry. I always come home with things I didn’t need.
I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
Bending over ... preparing to do my taxes.
Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma`am? Me: No, I`m just dizzy b/c I`m having a heavy flow day. It`s really clotty and... Cop: You`re free to go.
When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies.
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
I got a job at Bath and Body Works just so I can tell people to smell my finger...
I hate when I accidentally eat everything in sight.
I plan on leaving all my money to the campaign against illiteracy. ...They can`t read this right? lol
I now have more electronic screens in my life than friends.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..