Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things Iād go to hell for.
You`ve reached the limitations of my medications.
I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much Iām going to eat this week.
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people.
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
Please, lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won`t spoil me!
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
Guys, if she says she`s crazy, she`s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!