Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
Facebook needs a "slap a b!tch button"
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. But add me on Facebook and I`ll stalk you (maybe)
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
I hate when you tell someone you’re bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you’re not quite that bored.
Yesterday I fell off a 50 foot ladder. It`s probably a good thing I was on the bottom step...
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.
Baby Polar Bear: Mommy, am I really a Polar Bear? Mother: Of course you are. Why? Baby Polar Bear: `Cause I`m fukcing freezing!"