Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
Pizza is my favorite winter activity
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I`m hiring her as my personal trainer.
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.
This beer tastes like future mistakes.
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn`t punch them in the head as soon as they got here.
i hope your life is as long and useful as this roll of toilet paper!!!
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
DO NOT expect a "Bless You" after your 3rd sneeze. Get that sh!t under control.
I`m so deep in the friendzone that I`ve met her boyfriends parents