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Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
People of planet Earth, thank your gods that I`m not in charge of the red button.
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
They should start selling Photoshop CD`s at cosmetic shops.
Sometimes I order Domino`s but give them Pizza Hut`s address. And when they show up and start fighting, I just wait with my mouth open.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
Getting back with your ex is pretty much the same as taking a shower, getting out, and putting back on the same old dirty underwear.
Cop cars should play the jaws theme song
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
You`re the type of person who didn`t rewind the Blockbuster VHS...
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married