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when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Sometimes I feel like giving up...Then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong
If you really want to get under someone`s skin these days, just leave them a voicemail.
I`m curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they`re taking it out of their cars too?
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
I remember 2012 like it was yesterday.
I`m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg, and some days you`re the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.
A piñata is NOT a good idea for a Halloween costume.
my doctor says I have the body of a 20 year old, the mind of a 30 year old and the wisdom of a someone twice my age, to which my husband asked " What did he say about your fat ass?" I said to my husband, "Oh , the doctor didn`t say anything about you dear!".
I`m glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.